Perpetually Almost Done

ACT for Busy People

By Elle Woodrow - ANZ ACBS Student Representative

Last week I cried on the kitchen floor because I couldn’t find the right Tupperware lid for my Tupperware. Like a three-year-old - a tired, emotionally saturated, full-grown toddler.

I have a strong suspicion that the Tupperware mismatch was not, in fact, the true source of my tears. 

A wardrobe that desperately needs sorting. That assignment that absolutely needs finishing. Hospital missed calls that could really do with being returned. Those eight ‘pinned’ emails silently judging me. A never-ending to-do list that seems to grow by two items every time I tick one off. 

I imagine that for at least a few people this will sound familiar.

Maybe you’re a student like me? Or a clinician? Or a researcher? A parent? A partner? Likely multiple of these things. Whoever you are, you will quite possibly have some sort of mental or written list of tasks to complete. And many of us exist subconsciously assuming we’re on the brink of reaching a point in life where we’ll ~ complete the list ~. This can lead to living in sprint mode, making 'missing Tupperware' much more devastating than it really should be.

Acceptance: Making Room for Stress (and the Infinite To-Do List)

Ideas from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) can help with mentally stepping off the hamster wheel. One of ACT’s central ideas is that it’s not so much our thoughts or emotions themselves that cause suffering, but how tightly we hold onto them. 

A thought that I’m often wrapped up in goes something like, “just another week or so, and then I can finally relax.” This has often been the lens I look through, rather than something passing through my mind. ACT calls this fusion. Being wrapped up tightly in a thought, rather than seeing is as just that - a thought.

The “I’m almost there” story shows up a lot. And to be fair, it’s often true. Many people really are juggling a lot. But when we buy into the idea that peace of mind is just around the corner, we end up chasing it forever. 

ACT encourages us to notice when a thought is running the show, and gently ask:

“Is this thought supporting me, or just wearing me out?”

Not “is it true?”, but “is it helpful?”

Importantly, ACT doesn’t suggest we pretend we’re not overwhelmed. It’s not about positive thinking. Instead, it invites us to make space for the hard stuff. Acceptance doesn’t mean rolling over and giving up. It means noticing what we’re feeling – stress, pressure, frustration – and allowing it to be there, without piling on extra shame or resistance.

Something else that can be surprisingly useful to practice acceptance on is the fact that there will always be more to do. The list of things you could do is infinite, and getting them all done is impossible. This realisation can be unexpectedly liberating. Once you put down the goal of finishing everything, you can start engaging with what’s actually in front of you. 

Contacting the Present Moment

Sometimes we need a reminder that we have a body, not just a mind pinging around like a browser with too many tabs open. ACT calls this contacting the present moment - the practice of actually noticing where you are, right now, rather than where you think you should be.

It can be really simple:

• Take a breath - a nice big proper one.

• Feel the weight of your body - your feet on the floor, your shoulders dropping.

• Bring attention to five things you can see. Four you can hear. Three you can feel.

It takes less than a minute. It doesn’t change your life, but it does give your nervous system a tiny moment of quiet - a small reset.

You still have a bunch of things to do – but now, you’re a little more present while doing them.

Not Every "Should" is a Value

Another central part of ACT is values. When life feels like a conveyor belt of tasks, values can be a sanity-saving shift. They offer a more sustainable way to move through the world than just trying to tick everything off. They ask a deeper question: what kind of person do I want to be in the middle of this?

In many degrees and professions, doing more and doing better are reinforced as survival strategies. Resting while you know you have dozens of unread emails doesn’t feel like rest so much as strategic procrastination, with a low-level hum of guilt running beneath it. As a student in the clinical psychology pipeline, submitting something you know isn’t your best work can be physically uncomfortable.

Some of this pressure is structural. Systems like higher education, healthcare, and employment pathways often reward unrelenting standards. For some, there’s also the reality that not performing can come with serious consequences – economically, socially, even legally. It’s important to name that, because not everyone can afford to leave the to-do list for tomorrow.

Still, even in the middle of the chaos, values give us back a bit of agency. They don’t ask us to drop everything, they ask us to check in and choose more deliberately. They can provide motivation to engage in the hard stuff, but also serve as a reminder for rest and play. They’re totally flexible – one of the things that makes values so lovely.

A Final Message from Some Monks

Bringing all this together, ACT helps us make room for stress and pressure, connect with what’s in front of us, and make more deliberate choices around what matters.

You might still plough through that essay tonight. But you can do it because it matters, not because your nervous system is in panic mode. Or you might choose to leave it until tomorrow because today, connection or rest lines up better with who you want to be.

If, like me, you struggle switching off knowing there’s more to do, Benedictine monks at

Christ in the Desert Monastery in New Mexico have a ritual that’s worth pondering. They have strict time limits around their work, and have to put down what they’ve been working on when a bell rings. Not because they’re finished, but simply because of the bell. 

When writer Jonathan Malesic asked one of the monks how they deal with the feeling of being unfinished, they responded:

“You get over it”.